I am the Center of the Universe

I no longer remember who, among all the philosophers I studied at college while getting my degree in philosophy, had posited something along the lines that, in order for an action to be ethical, it must be something that, if everyone did it, the world would be a better place. But the idea stuck with me, as a valid definition of "ethical."

"I am the center of the universe," on the other hand, does not sound like the basis for ethical actions. But, over the years of what I could call my "spiritual awakening," this is, in fact, a simple, boiled-down phrase that in some ways powerfully encapsulates my working ethical paradigm.

This could take a lot of explaining, to connect the dots between the first and the second paragraphs. But they are, in fact, connected, given what I mean by "I am the center of the universe."

Here are some of the towns along the road connecting these two seemingly foreign and opposing cities.

The first is perhaps the most important. It is where I discovered that, at my core, in much bigger dimensions than what I normally experience, I am not just a physical body with some emotions and thoughts, that feels dependent upon the visible external world where other physical bodies are supporting me, either with their death (as in, for instance, the things I eat,) or with their emotional support. It is where I discovered that I am, in fact, an indestructible always-flowing column of infinite Love, which inhabits this temporary form of "Lorna." This is what Jesus meant when he said, "the kingdom of God is within." 

The second town along the way is where I recognized that the difficult emotions that I face on a daily basis, as I go about my life, are mostly all just replays of emotions that emerged in my body a long time ago, but which I wasn't able to actually experience fully, as a flow of energy, when they originally arrived. These emotions that show up today, and that have the power to drive my decisions and actions today, are actually energies that have been suppressed for a long time. They will keep getting triggered by the events of today until I discharge them.

The third town on the road between "I am the center of the universe" and "an action is ethical if the world is a better place if everyone does it," is where I learned that most of the things that I have done that I consider to have harmed people in my life, are things that I did because I wasn't aware of the old suppressed emotions driving my actions, and I was blaming other people in some way for my discomfort, and tried to change them or cut them out of my life. Or because I was so stressed out by the pressure of my own suppressed emotions that I was unable to cope with the imperfections of those around me.

Another town on the road connecting the two seemingly foreign cities is where I learned that the way that I can become free from the influence of the suppressed emotions is to tap into the divine dimensions of my body and become a portal where those suppressed energies can actually discharge through me back to the universe. I call this "doing my emotions." This is different from "having emotions," or "feeling emotions," because usually what we mean when we use those terms is that we can feel there is an emotional resonance in our bodies, but it is actually stuck and not flowing, and this is what makes emotions uncomfortable. Having an emotional charge actually flow in my body is not uncomfortable. It feels like a beautiful relief. And then the sense of urgency I had about needing to "do something" or "say something" to somebody, to make my discomfort go away, has evaporated, and I realize the feeling I had was not their fault at all, it was something I was carrying around with me wanting to be allowed to flow. The challenge of this part of the journey is to keep vigilant, and to recognize that what I feel is IN MY BODY, and that the larger dimension of LOVE that I AM, is able to be present with whatever it is that I feel, and that I have the capacity to expand the LOVE to allow every feeling to flow that shows up in my body, and that when I do this, I am able to be compassionate and loving with all those I encounter.

The final stop connecting these two cities is where it becomes clear that the things I see going on in the world, that upset me, and that I think are "unacceptable," are in fact being caused by other people being driven by suppressed or repressed emotional charges in themselves. Or some coping mechanism they have developed to numb themselves to the pain they have not healed within themselves. In other words, if other people were able to "do their emotions," instead of projecting and inflicting them onto people and situations that triggered them, the world would be a better place.

So this is the journey. I am the center of the universe, because I AM enough Love to encompass every thing I experience, and in so doing, I become the most loving that I can be in the world. (To be clear, I am not claiming that I have arrived anywhere near the end point of this process!)  And if I can't continue to become more loving, how can I demand that anyone else be more loving in every situation?

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

"He who is without sin may throw the first stone."