10 - Initiation, part 5: the Tree and I in the 9th dimension

I don't know whether the words "in the 9th dimension" in the title of this post will make people immediately pass it by, because I'm clearly a kook..or whether it will intrigue people, or whether it's just too far out to mean anything to anyone other than me and a couple other kooks that I know...

Either way, there it is. I'm not as afraid of going public with the most profoundly intense experience of my life as I used to be. I am still trying to absorb and embody the experience 18 years after it happened. 

SO WHAT HAPPENED?! I've been working my way up the timeline to the point when this happened, and now I'm finally here...

I talked in the previous couple posts about the gatherings that certain healers were having around where I lived in 2007. In late fall of that year, one of those healers invited people to her home to listen in on a conference call of a guided meditation by a woman in Colorado named Aine, (pronounced Anya.) I hadn't met Aine at the time, but the woman who held that gathering had met Aine when she had traveled to Minnesota and done a bunch of in-person gatherings. This particular conference call was going to be a guided meditation that she said would be "opening portals to the 9th dimension."

I went to every gathering of the local healers that I was able to attend, and this one intrigued me, because I had already had two of my three experiences of veils parting to reveal More. (I wrote about these in separate posts: the Face in the Sky, and My Mother's Death.)

I don't remember much about that evening. I didn't feel anything in particular going on inside me during or after the 30-minute guided meditation. There were a handful of other people there, and it felt nice to be with other people focusing on spiritual things, and that was about it. I was a little disappointed, frankly - sort of like the way I'd felt let down as a 6th grader in Sunday school with my friend and reciting the words to accept Jesus into my heart, but feeling the same afterwards as I did before.

I knew what it was like to feel the veils parting and glimpse the powerful dimension of Love beyond our normal reality, and I think as Aine was talking, I was waiting for something like that to happen. I knew that there was More, and that it felt incredible, and I yearned to feel more of that.

That evening was the first of three scheduled conference calls for "opening the portals to the 9th dimension." I think the next two were a week and then two weeks from the first one. 

The local healer who had held the gathering for the first call didn't have a gathering for the second call. As it happened, I had a reiki session scheduled with her that evening, and she came to my house to do it. She was the sort of person who could see energy and we spent the evening walking over to where I worked, to visit the gardens I had been tending that summer, and she described the things that she saw as we were walking. I remember her talking about how the tree along my sidewalk was welcoming me, and when we were in the gardens, I could feel some energy coming up from the ground and she described seeing a pillar of light, I think.. it's rather dim in my memory.

When we got back to my house, she said she wanted to do some clearing on my feet, so we sat on my sofa and I put my feet up and she did some energy clearing on the bottoms of my feet. I don't remember how I felt, particularly, except that I was envious of the way she could sense the unseen energies around her, and how she was so confident and clear about her intuitions. She had mentioned near the end of the evening that Aine's second conference call had been going on while we were having our session, and she was at first a little disappointed at missing the call, and then she took a second and tuned in and said, "we did it anyways, it was here," or something to that effect.

Aine's third and final call for "opening the portals to the 9th dimension" was the following week, and I hadn't signed up to be on this call either. As it happened, I was feeling slightly under the weather. I was resting in my recliner in my living room, by myself in the house, and suddenly realized that it was the time that the call was starting. I felt inspired to get up and I started feeling a subtle swirling energy flowing upward in my body and I spent a half hour swirling my body around in my hallway in the dark, feeling the energy flowing.

After a half hour, I realized the "transmission" was over and I stopped my swirly dancing. Then I felt like my feet were wanting to go outside. I felt like the clearing that had been done on my feet the previous week is what made it possible for me to sense this urge from my feet. My feet took me out my patio door onto my deck, down the 3 stairs into the yard, and down the slight slope of the yard in the direction of a scraggly old fir tree that stood in the middle of this part of the yard. I had been living at this house for a year and a half and had never paid any attention to this scraggly old fir tree before. It stood about 40 feet tall and had a fairly large trunk, with branches that hung down nearly to the ground, but there was a space where I could get through and stand next to the trunk...

As I got within a few feet of this tree

the branches disappeared

the trunk became a shining, bright white

upward-streaming column of Light,

reaching from the ground and going high into the air,

and this Light was intense Love,

warm and infinitely accepting,

 and infinitely wordlessly witnessing,

and this Love emanated into me

and I felt this Tree witnessing me

and I, TOO, was a shining, bright white, upward-streaming column of light

that was intense Love

I felt the tree feeling and knowing me, as I was feeling and knowing it

And I stood up against this column of Love - Light,

and began weeping with relief,

such intense Relief..

because I was finally feeling seen and felt as

WHO I REALLY AM

I realized in that moment

that this is what I had always known myself to me

but so deeply buried, and almost totally forgotten..

I realized then that no person had ever seen me for who I really AM.

I distinctly realized that even my boyfriend, who loved me,

did not see me for who I really was..

and I knew in that moment

that this Tree was aware of ITSELF as this shining column of upward-streaming Love - Light

ALL THE TIME

and that it was me who had all but forgotten who I really AM.

And now this tree was reminding me. HERE YOU ARE, YOU ARE JUST LIKE ME

and I also knew in that moment that EVERY tree, and EVERY human is this, too, all the time,

Intense Love and Light, a column streaming upwards ALL THE TIME, all of us

This dimension of Love and bright Light felt more intensely Real than anything I have ever felt, before or since. It had the intensity of the Sun, but the light and warmth were of Love, not fire.

And I knew myself, as this Love, as timeless and indestructible 

The Sudden Super Realness was like realizing that my entire life I had been living in a black and white drawing on flat paper, and now I was standing IN the world of intense color and wind and smells and motion and warmth and overwhelming intense aliveness, shocked that I had not been aware that the black and white drawing wasn't all of reality..

all of these knowings came all at once

Suddenly, in the midst of this timeless moment of awareness of this More, I remembered that, just the day before, I had helped a friend cut down a tree very much like this one, next to his house. We had just matter-of-factly and numbly cut it down with a chainsaw and cut it into pieces..

I WAS HORRIFIED

This sudden horror at what I had thoughtlessly, unconsciously done to this other tree jolted me back out of the dimension I had been in. The portal had been open for just a brief moment.

My mind was spinning, feeling like I needed to DO something over there where we had cut down that tree. What on earth would I do? How on earth would I explain to my friend that I needed to do something? What would I do? I had no idea.. but I felt that there was something I should do to ... what? Honor that energy that had been cut off? Help that energy to .. what? I had no idea, but it felt unfinished...

I ended up not doing anything about that other tree, other than feel that a beautiful flow of Love had been cut off...

    -------------------

Well, so here I am, sitting on the floor of my cabin, with my chromebook on my lap, typing. Remembering. Here I am, this flowing LOVE - LIGHT, ALL THE TIME.

And I am also

an amnesiac human.

Martin Prechtel says that the Mayans of his village call humans the "holy amnesiacs." Constantly surrounded by the troops of amnesia...

That about sums it up.

I'm smiling a broad smile, feeling warm and glowy inside..